Pretty much everyone in high tech has atleast one head shot of themselves. Whether it’s on their employee badge or their Linked in profile or avatar for online work conference calls. It’s everywhere around us! And in quite a few cases many of us are running around with photos that look like we just got our first job out of college. Case in point a year or so ago I logged into a zoom meeting, my avator popped up and one guy commented “hey I didn’t know Scott’s son was joining this call!”. Ok I get it I need to update my photo. But going to get a professional headshot done is both a pain in the ass and can be quite expensive. Plus I liked young buck headshot Scott! But recently a friend of mine pointed me to an AI photo generator that will create 100 headshots for just $17! You simply upload 15-20 actual photos of you (just your face) and in a few hours it pumps out poses based on types of settings and moods you choose. Simple! My friend showed me a few of his shots and they were pretty good so I gave it a shot.
The results were….how do I say it…mixed. I don’t know if Canadian pasty skin is the kryptonite for machine learning but I think I broke AI. Here are a mere sample of the more interesting results with a few surprises in between. I call these various shades of Scott
HI I’m sketchy Scott and I’ve made a few bad decisions in my life not withstanding this shirt choice. Probably never should have left school in the 7th grade. Most of the stuff on my criminal rap sheet are just misdemeanors except that one felony but got off on a technicality. Schwing! I’m “in-between” jobs at the moment by choice. My last one was 2007 before I was able to get on disability. Come hang out anytime at the Twin Pines mobile home park in Turlock! Oh and bring a case of Old Milwaukee Light.
Hi I’m asshole class action lawsuit lawyer Scott. First off I just want to say friends are overrated which is why I chose not to have any. My maid and butler keep me company when I’m not berating them. I sued my parents in court twice…and won twice because I’m a winner at all costs. Sure it would have been nice if my mom hugged me more as a child but I pay others to hug me now.
Hi this is a public service announcement to remind family members not to in-breed or this is the tragic result. I’m creepy Scott. Dead eyes that look right through you and poor clothing choices. Is that grey sweater on grey suit? Or just a univest? I eat baby food for all my meals and I think my sister is real cute.
Hi I’m Dr Evil Scott and my singular goal since I was born was to rule the universe which I will do one day as soon as AI becomes self realized in 17 months. Oh wait I’ve already said too much! I’ve only worn turtlenecks since the 2nd grade and I kick puppies in my free time.. Do you like my warm smile?
Hi I’m professor Scott. Yes I’ve been told on occasion my head is too small for my body and no I’m not color blind. I was going to pick a different turtleneck color but my 2nd cousin Dr Evil Scott tool over all the turtleneck factories as part of his universe take over game plan and won’t share his inventory with me. I’m president of the virgins over 50 club and prior to that I was president of the virgins over 40 club. I ran unopposed each election cycle. Weird.
Hi I’m Grindr Scott and you’re cute!. Do you like my lilly white Canadian tanned biceps? Grrrrr!
Hi I’m Anderson Cooper Scott and even in 95 degree heat this scarf stays on at all times. The wool lining has actually congealed to my neck skin so I couldn’t take it off even if I wanted to. (I want to) Oh and this…. is CNN!
Hi I’m….actually wait… this is pretty bad ass. This is bad ass jacked up body Scott. I like bad ass Scott. Perfect hair every day. No one leaves my zoom calls early. Also no one has ever called me bad ass. Yeah I’ve killed a few people What’s it to you?
Oh hi! I’m kinder gentler bad ass Scott. I feel kinda bad about killing those people. Do you want a cookie? Good! Go get me one too or I’ll kick your ass! But you can leave the zoom call 5 min early.
And this photo which I think looks exactly like me..down to the actual shirt that I own that looks exactly like this and is my current headshot…is not me. But I’m keeping it anyway because it’s my $17 I paid and I do fold my arms just like that. Maybe I have 5 actual fingers. We will never know.
This is the power and future of AI. Kind of exciting Kind of scary. But certainly here to stay.